Past Mistakes
by MissEmma
Summary: Two people who never thought they'd see each other again meet up five years after graduating from Degrassi.
1. Reunion

"Small vegetarian pizza?"

I looked up to see the pizza boy standing at the door. He carried the pizza box into my office with an uncomfortable grin on his face. I handed him some money and told him to keep the change. As he took the money, he knocked over my name plate. I told him not to worry about it, so he smiled and left.

As I ate my pizza, I turned to look out the window behind me. I watched the cars speed by some thirty stories below me. For a while, I just gazed out over the tops of the smaller buildings. The streets were as busy as usual, with people walking in all different directions. I sighed contentedly before turning back around to face my desk.

"Now, where did I put that proposal?"

As I muttered several things to myself, I dug through all my drawers, looking for my proposal. The meeting wasn't until Monday, but I wanted to be prepared. As I searched, I came across a book. I smiled slightly as I read the cover.

"Degrassi High."

I opened it up, leaning back in my chair. I flipped through the pages, smiling slightly. All the memories, good and bad, came back to me. I glanced up at the clock.

"Four o'clock. I guess I should go," I said aloud, closing the yearbook and putting it back in the drawer.

I stood, gathered my things, and rounded my desk. I bent down to pick up my name plate. For a moment, I stared at the big bold letters that read, "Manuella Santos". I finally realized the pointlessness of this, so I left.

As I sped down the busy, crowded streets, I felt lethargy creep over me.

"Shit. I need a coffee. It's Friday anyway. I need a treat," I said aloud, nearing the closest Starbucks.

As I entered, I took in the sweet smells. I got in line behind a tall man wearing a leather jacket.

"I'll have a Caramel Frappucino," he said.

The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. I waited for him to turn so I could see his face.

And as he did, my heart skipped a beat. The sight of his familiar eyes sent chills up and down my spine.

"Craig? Craig Manning?" I found myself saying.

The man looked at me, as if trying to figure out who I was. A look of recognition suddenly dawned on him, "Manny. Manny Santos! Jesus, it's been years!"

I smiled slightly, feeling my cheeks grow warm.

"Yeah, it has," I responded weakly. "Let me buy you a coffee," He exclaimed.

I nodded and told him what I wanted. My mind whirred as I found us a table. Craig Manning. Jesus, it HAD been years. I straightened my skirt and as he sat.

"Here you go," he said, handing me my coffee, "So, how've you been?"

"Fine, thank you," I responded, taking a sip of my coffee.

"When did you come to New York?" He asked.

"Oh, I moved here with my fiance, Robert, about four years ago," I replied, feeling a pit grow in my stomach.

"Ah, I see. Manny, it's so good to see you. You look great," Craig said, smiling.

"Thanks, you too," I responded.

For a while, we sat in silence. This was a guy I'd had sex with when I was just a teenager. This was the guy who had given her a pregnancy scare. And here they were, drinking coffee, five years later. I stared at him. His face had changed, but it was still the same in a few ways. His hair was the same, and his eyes were the same swirling pools of gorgeousness that they had always been.

"So, you got engaged pretty quickly then?" Craig asked, breaking the silence.

"Uh, well no. I met him in college when I was nineteen, and he asked me to come back to New York with him. I said yes. I finished school here. He proposed six months ago," I told him, feeling extremely awkward.

"Ah, cool. Very cool. Hey listen, I've gotta go, but we should meet again some time. For drinks, or something. Let me give you my number," he said.

"That would be nice," I said, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen for him to use.

He scribbled his number on the sheet of paper and slid it across the table towards me. He stood, picking up his book-bag.

"Give me call some time, okay?"

I nodded and waved. For a while, I just sat, staring out the window. Craig Manning, Wow.

I finished my coffee and stood to leave. I managed to hail a cab. The whole way home, the only thing I could think about was Craig, and all the things that had happened between them.


	2. Drunken Love

The next morning, I woke up to an empty bed. On the pillow beside me was a note.

"Got called in early. Be back late tonight. Love you, sweetie."

I sighed and sat up, staring at the phone, hoping it would ring. The rain outside pounded on the windows of our apartment. I reached forward and picked up the phone. I ran to my bag and pulled out the piece of paper with Craig's number on it. I stared at the number, wishing it would dial itself. Heart pounding in my throat, I dialed the number, slowly but surely. With great anticipation, I listened to the long rings. I felt myself drifting off, my eyes closing slightly.

"Hello?"

"I snapped my eyes open and managed to say, "Hey, this is Manny."

"Manny! Hey! What's up?" Craig said enthusiastically.

"Um, I was wondering if you'd like to go for those drinks tonight," I muttered.

"Sure. How about nine at O'Malley's?" Craig suggested.

"Sounds great," I said.

For a while, there was just silence. My heart pounded loudly as I waited for him to say something. But he didn't. Maybe he was thinking the same.

"Craig?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you so interested in seeing me again?"

The words slipped out of my mouth like a wet fish from an inexperienced fisher's hands. I gasped slightly.

"I just want to catch up. I haven't talked to anyone from Degrassi in years," Craig's response came almost immediately, his voice sounding slightly hurried.

"Oh. Look, I didn't mean for that to sound rude or anything," I hurried, hoping he wouldn't be angry.

"I understand. It's weird," Craig said, tone lowering slightly.

"Yeah, it is. I mean, our past and stuff. It's kind of funny to see you again," I said, growing more and more nervous with each words.

"Yeah. So I'll see you tonight"

"Definitely."

"Ok, well, bye."

"Bye.."  
I hung up the phone and plopped down onto my bed. Why was I so nervous? I had a good life now, and I was being stupid. Throughout the entirety of my day off, though, I felt more anxious with each second. The hours crept by slowly. I watched TV, ate, and slept to pass the time. Finally, it was seven-thirty, and I knew I had to start getting ready.

I showered first. For about twenty minutes, I stood into front of my bureau, contemplating what to wear. Should I wear something nice? Or was the dress code just supposed to be casual? When I finally realized that I'd wasted enough time, I went to dig through my closet. In my search, I found a slinky black dress.

"When the hell did I wear this last?" I said aloud, trying it on in front of the mirror.

I ran my hands over my curvy hips, wishing they were smaller. I'd never been stick skinny, but sometimes, I still wished that I was. Time was moving too quickly, however, to spend more time on my outfit, so I decided to stick with the black dress. I chose my sexiest underwear -- a red lacy bra and matching panties. I always felt confident in them.

Ten minutes later, I was completely ready. I spent the remainder of my leftover time pacing around the room, wondering what to wear. My heart pounded faster with each passing moment. I scribbled a note for Robert, quickly, before setting off.

I hailed a cab at eight-thirty, and I arrived exactly at nine. Walking into the bar, I knew I'd overdressed, but I tried not to let it get my down. My confidence had shrunk a little bit since my high school days, but I figured that if I had been able to make it through high school dressing the way I had, this would be a picnic on a sunny day.

Well, probably not.

My palms were growing sweatier with each step. Part of me wanted to turn around and run home to my comfortable apartment. But I stopped myself. I spotted him, and confidently strode up to where he was sitting. I flipped my hair slightly and smiled.

"Hey," I said, sliding into the seat next to him.

"Manny! You look -- amazing. I wish I'd dressed more appropriately," Craig said, smiling.

My heart sunk slightly at the sight of his casual outfit -- jeans and a t-shirt. I ordered my first shot, and he ordered a Corona.

"So, tell me about your life," I said as I downed my vodka.

Craig paused, "After I graduated high school, I wanted to continue into the music industry, but it didn't really work out. So I went back into photography, and now I sell my work to pay the rent."

I nodded, "I'd love to see some of your work sometime."

"I will most certainly show you," He told me, smiling slightly and taking a sip of his beer.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I found myself asking.

"Ah, no. I did, but I ended it. It just wasn't working. I felt no connection to her," Craig explained, sounding slightly bitter.

"Oh."

And so it went on. We both talked in detail about our lives. All the while, we drank. I finished off my eighth at about ten-thirty. By then, I was in no position to talk like a sensible person. Somewhere after his second beer, Craig had graduated to vodka, and he'd had about four shots. Or five.

"We -- should probably stop drinking," Craig said finally, setting down his shot glass.

"Whyyyyyy?" I whined playfully, touching his arm gently.

He looked down at my hand and touched it lightly.

We went outside to hail a cab. The rain was still pouring, and my heart was racing.

"Craig, why did we break up?"

"Because things happened -- I think."

I laughed loudly, hiccuping as I did. Craig chuckled.

"You look really beautiful tonight, you know that," He said, managing to hail a cab.

I stumbled slightly in my stilettos as I tried to walk towards the cab. Craig took my arm and led me to the door.

"Thank you, Mr. Gentleman," I whispered into his ear, planting a teasing kiss on it.

Craig froze. I giggled slightly as I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Craig put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

A honk from the cab driver interrupted us, "Oy! Get in!"

I giggled loudly and slid inside the cab, followed closely by Craig. He had just enough time to say "311 Second Avenue" before I pulled him in again, planting kisses all over his face, completely missing his lips every time. He placed his hands gently on my face, pulling me in for a kiss on the lips. The cab came to a stop in front of what was supposedly Craig's apartment. Craig paused to pay the cab driver before dragging me out of the cab. My knees buckled as I held on to Craig.

"Up you go."

He whispered the words in my ear as he lifted me from the ground. Before I knew it, I was on Craig's bed, underneath him, kissing him fiercely. I gasped for breath as he sat up, running his hands up my dress. He pulled my dress up over my head, and began running his hands gently over my skin. I listened to the sound of the rain just outside, and watched the shadows the drops cast. My breathing became heavier as he began to caress my breasts. The wind whispered gentle, calming words as I moaned. I arched my back, allowing him to reach around and unclasp my bra. He hurriedly tore off my panties, throwing them to the side.

"I love you," I whispered to him.


	3. I Can't

Hours later, I woke. I turned on my side. Beside me was Craig, lying on his back, his chest rising up and down rhythmically. Outside, it was still dark, and the rain had not ceased pouring. The full moon outside shone down upon me. The pounding, rhythmic sound of the rain slowly helped me fall back asleep.

When I woke the second time, my heart was pounding. I felt sick. I sat up all to quickly and rolled off the bed.

"Manny?" came Craig's voice from the bed.

"Yeah?" I replied, feeling dizzy.

"Where are you?"

"Down here. Where's your bathroom?"

"First door to the left."

So I sped off. I made it just in time to throw up straight into the toilet. I heard hurried footsteps come from behind me. I felt my hair being pulled back.

"Craig?"

"Yep,"

I breathed heavily as he massaged my back and neck. Tears began to form in my eyes, but I wiped them away fiercely. I leaned back, and Craig wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me close. He kissed my neck and reached under me, picking me up and carrying me back to the bed. I couldn't help but smile as he lay me down and climbed on top of me, kissing my chest.

"I love you too," He whispered.

At first, I was confused, but I soon remembered that it was a response to what I had said just before we made love. I felt overcome with helplessness as Craig kissed me. My mind wandered. As the sun began to rise, it hit me that I would have to go home and make up a story about where I had been. I hated lying to Robert. I'd done it once before and he'd given me a shrewd, calculating look.

Craig had fallen back asleep. I seized my chance and rolled out of bed. I located my clothes and pulled them on. I crept towards the door and caught sight of a pen and piece of paper on the bedside table. I quickly scribbled my cell number for Craig to see. I grabbed one of Craig's jackets, which was lying on top of a large pile of clothes. I pulled it on before slipping out into the night.

I walked home in the rain. It was a long way, but I felt like thinking. When I finally got home, I was soaked from head to toe. I hung Craig's jacket out to dry, and tip-toed to the kitchen.

"Manny,"

"Robert!" I exclaimed, spinning around, "You scared the shit outta me!"

"Sorry, baby. Where were you?"

"Friend's house."

"Really?"

"Yeah. We got a little tipsy, and she didn't want to go home alone, so I said I'd stay with her until she fell asleep, and I feel asleep too."

"Oh."  
"Yeah."

"I was worried about you, baby. Why didn't you call?"

"Didn't think you'd be home."

"Manny, whose jacket is that?"

"My friend's boyfriend's. All hers were in the wash, and I didn't bring one, so she let me borrow his."

I sat down, sighing.

"Let's go upstairs baby," Robert said quietly.

"Okay."

I dragged myself up the stairs and changed from my wet clothes. As I pulled on one of my oversized t-shirts, Robert wrapped his arms around me, rocking me back and forth.

"We haven't made love in a while, you know."

"Five days is too long for you to go without sex?"

Robert laughed and pulled me to the bed.

"Robbie, it's five in the morning. Can I sleep?"

"Yeah, okay baby."

Robert was a true gentleman. As I lay there, his hands massaging my back, all I could think of was Craig. All the things we'd done together. I remembered when my best friend, Emma, and I had both thought he had liked her, not me. But when he asked me to dance, well, it turned out he didn't. He chose me. As I danced with him, my heart had raced and my head had spun.

And then he broke up with me. I was too young and sweet. I decorated his locker and acted like a little kid. And when he dumped me, something snapped. So I changed, completely. I started wearing clothes I'd never worn before, and I invited him to a rave. And I'd taken him back to my best friend's house.

He had told me it was over between him and Ashley, but it wasn't. So I dumped him. Yet, I always managed to take him back.

Then there was the pregnancy scare. And graduation, perhaps the most painful memory of all. He didn't utter a word to me. Not a word. But the wounds healed, I met Robert, and we moved away. Life had been okay without Craig. But now that he was back, everything was upside down. I eventually gave in to sleep. When I woke again, it was nine, and the sweet scents of bacon and eggs wafted in the air. I crept downstairs. On the table was a plate of food with a note next to it.

"Got called in again. I'm so sorry, baby. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

I sighed and looked up out the window. Standing there, peering through, was Craig. I ran to the door, swinging it open.

"Craig! What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you."

I looked down, shaking my head slightly. I felt his hand curl around my chin and pull it up.

"I love you," Craig whispered.

"Craig, do you know what this place is? This is my home. I don't know how you found it, but I live here with a respectable, kind man, whom I love very much. I'm marrying him in a month and a half, and we're talking about having kids," I told him.

Craig's face fell, "Kids?"

"Yes, kids."

I'd never seen him look so heartbroken. His eyes dropped. It was my turn to reach out and hold his face gently in my hands.

"What happened last night. -- it only happened because we were drunk. It didn't mean anything," I pressed on.

"No, Manny. It DID mean something. You know it did," Craig said.

I opened my mouth to object, but I was interrupted by Craig's lips slamming against mine. I nearly choked as he pushed me back into my apartment, his lips never leaving mine. He slammed the door behind him. The shock wore off, and I jumped up, wrapping my legs around him. All of a sudden, I needed him. With each second, our frenzied, passionate kiss grew deeper. Craig held my body so close that I felt every curve and contour in his. I reached my hand up to part his lips from mine.

"Craig.."

I never finished. I was at a loss for words. So I just kissed him again. He lay back on my soft, beige sofa, and I climbed on top of him.

"Craig, let's just..stay like this for a bit."

Our bodies spooned into each other. He wrapped one arm around me. His other hand gently played with my wavy, black hair. I closed my eyes and leaned back. All I could see were his eyes; his beautiful, deep, swirling eyes.

"Are you happy with this guy?"

"Yes."

"No, like the kind of happy that you are now?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I leapt up from his embrace. The truth was, I wasn't happy with Robert. But I wasn't about to let Craig know that.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. 

"You should be."

"Now, seriously, what's that supposed to mean?" 

"You always were a charmer! Charming me into things! And now I have this to carry around with me for the rest of my life! I'm getting MARRIED, Craig. Married! I can't do this anymore. Get out!"

Craig stared at me, mouth hanging open slightly.

"OUT!"

Craig stood, slowly, staring at me as if I were a lunatic.

"Don't ever come back! Do you hear me? Never! Go screw up someone else's life! I was getting on fine WITHOUT you, Craig! Why did you have to do this? Why did you have to make me fall for you AGAIN!"

"I didn't make you do anything," Craig roared back, "You chose with your OWN heart to love me again. You can't throw this away, Manuella Santos. As much as you WANT to, you'll never forget this. And if you marry that Robert guy, you'll have to live with it forever! Come live with me. Please. Leave this life."

"I have the life I want RIGHT HERE, Craig Manning. Right here! And this is SO like you. Charming your way into my heart. Who COULDN'T fall in love with you? You're the most gorgeous man I've ever seen, and you're sweet and funny. I LOVE YOU! I DO! But I can't! So please, leave. Now."

Tears began to flow down my cheeks. Craig came to hug me, but I pounded my fists on his chest and pushed him away.

"You look so beautiful right now, Manny. Please don't make me leave you," Craig said, his voice filled with emotion.

"Craig, go. Now," I ordered, my heart bursting. And he went. Not a word was spoken. He just left. The door slammed, and my hands fell to my sides. I slowly curled up on the couch, breathing deeply between each one of my sobs.


	4. Get Out

ONE MONTH LATER

"I do."

As I said those words, Robert reached forward and pulled my hand forward, slipping the beautiful diamond ring he'd bought me onto my ring finger. I did the same.

"You may now kiss the bride."

As his warm lips hit mine, tears began to well in my eyes, but did not spill over onto my cheeks.

The celebration afterwards was spectacular. Our parents had collaborated to create a ceremony fit for a Martha Stewart magazine.

It was when we were cutting the cake that I first noticed him. He was hiding behind the first row of bushes that surrounded our beautiful outdoor setup. In his hands was a camera. I tried to ignore the fact that he was there. I straightened out my dress and cleared my throat loudly, taking a bite of my deliciously prepared cake.

The wine was brought out soon after. I glanced over at the bushes every once in a while, checking to see if he was still there. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him moving towards the house. He was going inside.

I stood clumsily, smiling and saying, "I'll be right back!"

I sped towards the house as fast as I could in my high heels. I smiled at the caterers and walked through the house.

"Craig!"

He spun around, smiling slightly, "Let's go upstairs."

"Fine. But just so no one hears us!"

I led him upstairs and into Robert's old room. I wasn't very familiar with it, but I'd been in it enough times to feel comfortable in it.

"Craig, why are you here?"

"Because I've missed you. I've missed you so much," Craig said, taking my hand and pulling me in.

His lips danced upon my, and for a moment I seriously considered pressing mine down and holding him in a passionate embrace. But then I remembered.

"I'm married," I said, pulling away.

"Baby."

"No Craig! I'm not letting you pull me in again. We were kids, Craig. We fooled around in high school. Big deal. It's over. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Then why did you fuck me?" Came his reply.

"Excuse me?"

"You're not as happy as you could be, Manny. You went out for drinks with me because he wasn't there. Right? He wasn't there to hold you and appreciate you. Am I right? You love him, yes. But you will never love him the way we've loved each other. Ever. Do you want to be alone the rest of your life?"

I couldn't believe this, "What are you TALKING about? I went out for drinks with you because I wanted to catch up."

"That's a lie. You know it is. He'll never whisper your name like I do. He'll never hold you like I do. And he will never make love to you like I do," Craig said fiercely.

"Excuse me? He can make love to me any way he wants to, and I'll enjoy it SO much more than I ever would with an ass like you!" I spat.

"Please, Manny. Don't do this."

I felt a sharp pain in my chest. My heart was pounding so loudly I was afraid Craig would hear it. It hurt so much to do this.

"Get out. You've insulted me and everything we've had. Get out."

"Manny, please."

"Out."

"Manny.."

"If I have to hurt you I will."

With those words, he turned away. I felt as if I sharp knife had been driven into my chest. The tears began to spill from my eyes. Craig faced me again.

"I can't go," He whispered.

I stared at him, biting my lip. He stepped forward towards me and held my face. He leaned down and kissed me gently. The tears continued to spill down my face as I half-heartedly kissed him in return. My mind was numb.

As much as it killed me to admit it, Craig was right. I wasn't as happy with Robert as I had been with Craig that night.

Craig continued to kiss me all over my face. He worked his down past my jaw to my neck. He held me tightly to him. It wasn't until about five minutes past that I realized what I was doing.

"Craig!" I exclaimed, pushing him away, "I'm married! I can't do this!"

"Manny," He started.

"No. Goodbye, Craig."

I fled from the room, freeing myself from the sight of his beautiful eyes. I stopped in front of the mirror in the hall to wipe the tears from my eyes before returning to Robert and our families. I knew Craig wouldn't stay. He could show himself out.

"Hey baby," Robert whispered into my ear, kissing me gently on the cheek.

"Hey," I responded, giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

Throughout the entire night, my heart leapt every time Robert said something. As much as I didn't want it to be, my heart was broken. All I could see was Craig's face. Later, when Robert and I lay in bed, all packed up and ready to leave for Hawaii the next day, I wept silently.


End file.
